Those Damn Blackberries

Don't get me wrong, blackberries are fine. They are berries after all (a big plus), and they are tart and sweet (an excellent combination), and juicy if you pick them at exactly the right moment. The biggest thing they have going against them is that they aren't raspberries, which are far superior.

Here's a little story for you: when we moved into our house, it was the dead of winter, so the yard was dormant. Much to my surprise and delight, when spring rolled around, I noticed some delicious thornless raspberry bushes springing up on the side of our yard! "Oh my heck!" I said to myself, "Raspberries are the best! And thornless raspberries are even better!" (Because it's true.)  My excitement grew with each passing week in the summer, and I diligently watched the flowers and fruit form. I was dismayed when they still weren't ready for picking prior to going on a two-week vacation. My biggest concern about leaving for vacation was that the raspberries would ripen and get ruined while I was away. After an anxious couple of weeks, the first thing I did upon returning home was to go and check on my raspberries...and I was so  disappointed! They had indeed been ruined, but it was because they turned into blackberries while I was away. Damn blackberries!

Now, it is harder for me to forgive the sprouting canes that pop up in my lawn because they aren't raspberries, and with hatred in my heart, I unsuccessfully try to keep the massive growth under control. I will never intentionally plant blackberries, and I will never stop wishing that they were raspberries instead.