Family Values

It can be tricky to step back from day-to-day living to ensure that my daily actions are intentional. I know what it tastes like to feel like surviving is the best I can offer, but I don't like to remain in that place. I want to thrive in life, not just survive! And I want that for my family too.

When we realized our family needed better focus, we decided to incorporate a monthly Family Values tradition. (We picked up this idea from a podcast about family, with excellent episodes touching on the topic here and here. Give it a good listen!) The way it works for us is we pick a value we would like our family to focus on every month. We have weekly family gatherings (FHE, yo!) where we explore different aspects of that value, share stories and scriptures showing the importance of that value, post fresh visual reminders throughout our home, and talk about how it relates to our family.

This is a fairly new practice for us so we're continually finding ways to fine-tune it. We have bitty kids who have a difficult time understanding abstract concepts and understand literal concepts much better. So, we keep it simple by saying things like, "We are a helping family" or "We are a learning family." Then we drive it home even more by talking about how each person in our family helps and learns in his or her own special way like "Dad is a helping guy and keeps our kitchen so clean" or "Mom is so great at helping when you need to practice the piano". We also try to incorporate at least one family activity each week that illustrates the concept in addition to finding appropriate moments during each day to talk about the family value for the month. It doesn't have to be elaborate, it just needs to be present.

Some themes we've focused on so far are helping, learning, together, and playful. When we started out, Kirk and I sat down and made a list of many characteristics we value. The list was comprised of values we were proud of or were our natural strengths, values we need to improve on, and essential values we need our children to understand. Our list was much longer than months in a year, so we combined and simplified our values to fit our family needs. Plus, there will be many more years to come. I'm not concerned about repeating the same ones every year as long as they remain relevant.

We thought about mapping out the months ahead of time, but find it's easier to have options to pick from and focus on what our family needs the most during that season. Usually it's something our family is currently struggling with (like our helping month, haha! Painful, but necessary!) but sometimes it's something the season naturally dictates (like our together month which occurred during the hectic holidays filled with countless family get togethers, performances, and traditions). Kirk and I also have ongoing discussions about what values we want to instill in our family before the start of each month, so we don't feel like we need to stick to the list and can make sure our focus is what the most needed and most relevant at that time.

We are not perfect with this, but I have noticed more meaningful actions and purpose as a family. Our daughter is starting to recognize the importance of these values and is proud of herself when she exhibits them or sees them in others. It's been good.

We are barely new to this depth of family intentionality, so I'd love to hear what you have done to make your family teaching moments count. What meaningful practices do you have in your family? Do you have any tips to share about focusing on monthly family values? Do share!

Nature-Inspired Art

One thing I love doing is sharing my art and love of nature with others. For Feather and Fir, my fun and time-consuming side-hustle, I like to focus on nature-inspired art.

I have found that every person I ask has a moment of wonder with nature that is unforgettable. There has been something or someplace that has touched them deeply, and they will never forget the feeling or magnificence of that moment. I love to focus on those meaningful moments and express those feelings through my artwork.

Each piece of art I create has a back story and a moment of wonder connected with it. If there is someone you love who has such a moment and is lucky enough to get a gift from you this holiday season, consider sending them a little token of that memory.

There are several nature-inspired artworks up in my shop that would love to find a happy new home to beautify! Take a look around! Or, if you have a specific moment or wonder you are hoping to commemorate, I am also open to commissions. Or, if you have any questions or just want to geek out with me about how neat nature is, then shoot me a message. Nothing would make me happier than digging deep into a grand discussion with you!

Right now these autumn leaf watercolor sets are at a special early-bird buyer rate:

If you follow me on Instagram, you might recognize these from my November art series. Right now, they are only $75 per set of 6, which is an awesome deal for original watercolors. On December 21st, though, they will go up to full price permanently for $90. I don't offer any prints, only original artwork, which is unique these days with all the free printables available. I love to make art that speaks to people's souls.

So what kind of art speaks to you?

Do you have a moment of wonder you would like to see made into one of my future art projects? I'm open to any suggestions, especially for my current December series: Days of Wildlife.

Piles and Piles

Around here, we've been arting our buns off like crazy kooks! It seems like that spindly-legged kid of ours has caught our project passion and creating habit, which is good and bad. Good because making things is awesome! Bad because...what a mess! Her project piles gather on our couches, counters, piano benches, desks, fireplace, and floors, especially in high-traffic walkways:

We can't blame her for all the messes, though, because she most likely picked up on the busy project-making buzz surrounding our grownup shenanigans. We've been leaving our own piles of our creations everywhere, too.

While we do enjoy simple and somewhat tidy spaces, we also strive to foster creativity and imagination around these parts.  For us, that usually involves experimentation and not being attached to materials used to carry out our wild schemes. Also, it gives us a lot to think about when it comes to tradeoffs and sacrificing a clean home for the greater good.

What are some ways you embrace imagination and other good things that are messy?

Santa and Horsies!

We took full advantage of the magical spark kids bring to holiday season and did our best to ignite our girl's excitement. We tried out all sorts of new things this year to see if we wanted to keep them around for future family traditions. One such adventure was a trip to the Riverwoods in Provo to see the pretty Christmas lights, the big guy himself, and take a free ride around the parking lot on a horse-drawn jingle bell carriage.

Sounds fun, right? Guys. Here's the truth about that night: we hyped it up to outrageous heights and dragged a stubborn two-year-old around outside in the sub-zero temperatures. We put her mittens back on her "coldy hands" dozens of times (duh. stop taking them off if it makes your fingers cold), shied away from Santa after waiting in line for 15 minutes to talk to him, then got disappointed when he didn't give us a lollipop like Santa does when he's at the mall. We took turns trying to warm up an independent and resistant toddler while still trying to maintain some semblance of dignity in public, listened while she cried and pitched fits until the first horse carriage arrived 10 minutes late, then sat silently the whole ride long. It was exhausting for all parties involved.

Kirk and I both asked ourselves silently and out loud, "Was this hassle even worth it? What did we accomplish from this fiasco?"

And then the payoff arrived. As soon as we got home and could feel our toes again, our thawing Pepsicle couldn't stop talking about that evening...for days! In fact, she still loves gabbing about Santa and the lights, and riding the horsies, which liked to jump ("like this!" she says as she jumps as high as she can). Her favorite video to replay on my phone is the one with the jingle bell carriage pulling up to us with its merry cacophony. And, we discovered she already knew the word "nutcracker." Who would have guessed? It certainly didn't come from us! (We have since found out it came from watching the Barbie version of The Nutcracker. Nice. As long as Barbie continues to teach 2-yr-old girls 3-syllable words, I guess her eventually negative affects on body-image can be overlooked.)

But, that's not the point of this post. The point is that we thought the whole evening was a huge waste of time, despite our efforts to stay chipper and help one another stay happy through the frigid winds. We thought it was a bust. But it wasn't, and it ended up being one of the most memorable nights for our little family. All Pepper can remember are the good parts. She obviously doesn't remember that she cried pretty much the whole time we were there. So, I've been working on forgetting that part too and focusing on just remembering the great parts instead. Become like a little child, etc, etc, and all that.

So...maybe we'll try again next Christmas? We'll just have to see when we get there, I guess.

Hong Kong Aviary

You may or may not know that I am crazy about birds. So, the best part of Hong Kong was the aviary I discovered in the city park. I was absolutely giddy when I came across this treasure trove of feathered goodness. Feast your eyes:

Doesn't that aviary look so snuggly inside the city park? I also glimpsed the most breathtaking golden pheasant, but decided to just watch it instead of breaking the spell by taking a photo. Because some things are just better when they are saved in my memory bank (not too much, though, because I can't hang onto everything in my head without a few reminders).

I had a dear friend once who preferred to not take photos for the same reason a lot of people do: so that he could concentrate on the sights, smells, sounds, textures and soak in all the details. He explained that it made experiences more meaningful for him and helped him be absolutely present in every moment.

I've tried to do the same throughout my life, and focus on fully appreciating my environment, wherever that may be. I've also studied several fascinating scholarly essays on the phenomenon of people's documentation habits and how instead of adding to the experience, such habits actually diminish the magnitude of the experience. (For example, if you are always seeing life through a camera lens, are you actually seeing it for yourself or is is just one more barrier between you and the experience?) And, I find it amusing (and sometimes sad) when I see people recreating a situation for the camera so that they can document it as if it were happening for the first time...you know what I'm talkin' about. Have you ever seen that happening?

That being said, I love art and photography. I think it's important to document personal journeys and art forms (which by nature are replicative) can actually help me pay attention to the small details that would have otherwise been missed if I weren't on the lookout. Time and a place. Time and a place.

So, dish. What's your opinion about documenting experiences?

The Word of the Year

Before the beginning of 2011, I picked a word to emulate throughout the year. It was super easy because I knew I would need to remind myself daily of the goodness of my word. 2011's word was "change," and boy, did we ever need that word! It was an excellent reminder to keep positive about any changes we encountered, no matter how scary they were at the time.

The biggest change for us was preparing to turn the two of us into a family by welcoming a wee one. Yes, "change" is the perfect word to describe how we wanted to approach it: from a practical standpoint about something that would be just a little different than what we were used to. Kirk always reminds me that change is the savor of life, and I wholeheartedly agree with him. That little word added a lot of flavor this year to our family.

However, "change" didn't only apply to our personal lives. Both of us got new jobs this year, made some progress in our education goals, and were reassigned different callings. 2010 was feeling a little stagnant for me, so I wanted to pick something to encourage myself to try new things, not be afraid to risk my comfort, and to bask in all the goodness that can come from doing things just a little bit differently.

Well, this most recent Word of the Year was so successful for me that I decided to pick another one this year. I hope it becomes an annual tradition for me. After weeks of deliberation, the word I finally landed on for 2012 is..."savor."

In 2012, I want to focus on savoring every moment, relishing the blessings we have, and enjoying with all my soul the relationships in my life that are most important.

What do you think? Would you ever pick a word to focus on for the whole year?

A Month Full of Gratitude

The entire month of November is a time to reflect on the bounteous blessings we receive that we sometimes take for granted. I think one of the best ways to keep upbeat and kind is to cultivate a grateful heart. Here are a few ways we've been reminding ourselves how good life really is for our family:

The Baxters reflect on five things they are grateful for prior to feasting on Thanksgiving, and eat a candy corn kernel each time they think about what they are grateful for. It represents the first winter the pilgrims experienced in America, when there was only enough food for each person to eat five kernels of corn, and reminds us to remain grateful even through hard times.

The Nielsons compile a gratitude list, and bake each line on the list into its own roll. When anyone eats a roll from the Thanksgiving batch, they discover what someone in the family is thankful for. It's a gratitude fortune cookie of sorts, and it lasts long after the feast is through, or at least for a couple of extra days. It serves as a reminder to share your gratitude with others, and not keep it to yourself.

Also, we've started a new tradition with the three of us, wherein each of us writes a grateful bit on our Freedom of Speech Wall, turned Gratitude Wall during the month of November. Since the baby bumpkin can't write yet (or speak, for that matter) we take turns imagining what she must be grateful for. This helps us remember that gratitude isn't restricted to the fourth Thursday in November, but that it should be expressed constantly.

There are so many fun ways to keep a grateful heart all year 'round. What are some ways your family expresses gratitude?